BankerGirl

Posted by Heidi on November 30th, 2007 in About BankerGirl, college, debt

I recently posted an article spelling out just how bad my debt situation is.  Afterwards, I wondered: “why would a sensible person behave in such a way?!”  I’ve been searching my soul for the answers and this is what I’ve come up with:

It’s the Parents

My inner Freud blames my parents.  Growing up, my father was a farmer (and still is), and my mother stayed home with my sisters and I (I am the oldest of three girls).  I don’t remember ever feeling poor or doing without - but I do remember being told “no” a lot.  I wasn’t usually allowed to go to the toy section in department stores, I didn’t have many name brand shoes or clothes, and we didn’t get to go out to eat very often (part of that was due to the fact that we lived in a very rural area - 40 miles from the nearest Applebee’s or Burger King). 

I never felt deprived - at least not consciously - but I think that my early undergrad spending spree is directly linked to the fact that I grew up in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the 1980’s farm crisis. Shopping was always a planned day trip for specific items when I was a kid, and once I went off to college there was a mall practically in my back yard.  Even though my parents had always let me have control of my own money, I had never had so much access to ways to spend it!

It’s Hard to Fit In

I have always been a bit of a loner, preferring the company of a good book to that of most people - not exactly the best way to win friends or influence people.  Once in college, I became more social, and to me, being social meant spending money.  I was always happy to pick up the tab for dinner or buy a round of drinks for friends - they were broke and I had money, it only seemed fair. 

It may sound like I was buying friends, but that really wasn’t the case.  Some of my closest friends today are people I hung out with in college. What I didn’t realize at the time is that these people liked me for me, not because I purchased the occasional shot of Jagermeister or picked up the pizza tab every once in awhile.  If I had come to that conclusion sooner, I would have spent far less on “entertainment” while working on my degree.

I am still guilty of spending money in order to impress people or fit in (the most recent example is a facelift I gave our downstairs bathroom last month, just before my future in-laws came to visit), but I am working on being grateful for the things that I have.

Rampant Consumerism

I studied marketing in grad school - I know all of the tricks marketers use to get you to spend - but that doesn’t make me immune to their charms.  I am especially drawn to electronic gadgets and the iPhone and Wii have been high on my lust list lately.  My time in Chicago didn’t help much to surpress the “I wants” either. 

It’s difficult to remind myself that those things will only provide me with short-term gratification, while paying off my credit card debt will provide me with tons of financial freedom for the future. 

Play Time is Over

I am not trying to make excuses for my behavior (ok, that’s exactly what I’m doing).  I think there may be a little legitimacy to a few of these things, but in the end, I was just really irresponsible.  Now its time to face the music.

Stumble it!