3 Sanity-saving wedding planning tips for soon-to-be brides

Our wedding is now just one month out, and I’m feeling pretty good about where we are with our planning. 

It’s taken a while for me to get to this place.

I really wanted to be a different kind of bride - I had fantasies of being a cool, laid-back anti-bride, but there have been moments when I’ve let a bit of bridezilla creep out. For example, immediately after my best friend’s wedding in August, I had a bit of a meltdown (there’s just so much to do!).  And when someone in my wedding party asked me a question I wasn’t prepared to answer, I actually cried (So out of character!).  And just this week I snapped at my mother while she was advising me on the whole program/menu thing (don’t even get me started on this one).  

To all of those I have been snippy or sassy towards in the past several weeks, I apoligize.

A few days ago I had a moment of zen, and I came up with the following mantras to help me keep my sanity (and hopefully less catty) during the final four weeks until we say ‘I do.’

1. Don’t be afraid to delegate

I can be a bit of a control freak, but after interviewing three different caterers, I came to the conclusion that food service people are just too flaky for me.  Matt and I created a draft of what we wanted the menu to look like, then we turned all food-related responsibilities (from the hors d’oeuvres to the late-night s’mores) to my mom. 

Similarly, my future mother-in-law has taken the lead on the bouquets for the wedding and centerpieces for the reception.  She volunteered, and I happily accepted. 

It’s been such a relief to have these details off my plate, and I’m pretty sure that our moms are really happy about being able to help.

2. Your delegates are not your employees

If you have no problem with number one, then number 2 may be a bit more of a challenge.  I found out in a hurry that I cannot treat my moms and fiance like they work for me.  At the office it’s my job to create artificial deadlines and make decisions without soliciting feedback from every team member with an opinion.  At home I have to be much more sensitive to other’s feelings and schedules.

The lesson here: once you have delegated a task, you have to trust the person you’ve selected as your proxie and let it go.

3. Pick your battles

The biggest surprise for me in this whole wedding planning thing is how engaged Matt has been in the wedding planning process.  I knew my mom would have opinions, but my future husband also felt pretty strongly about a few things that I may have done differently if left on my own. 

So, he gets his live band and expensive photographer, I get a fancy dress and a man who loves me in spite of myself.  Not a bad deal.

Got any other tips to help a soon-to-be bride keep her cool?  Please leave them in the comments section below.

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5 Responses to “3 Sanity-saving wedding planning tips for soon-to-be brides”

  1. make art every day Says:

    you already know you can’t control everything. just keep in mind that whatever goes wrong (and something will), at the end of day you are still married.

  2. Debbie M Says:

    The best things to delegate are things you don’t care about but that someone else does. Let the person who cares take over. (If no one cares, then maybe you don’t need it and can just drop it.)

  3. Kristen Says:

    Like the previous poster said, something will go wrong, and you just can’t worry about it. Here’s two things about that: 1) Chances are none of your guests will even realize it; 2) As long as you and your groom show up and get married, that’s all that really matters. After all what you really want is a marriage, the wedding is just the proverbial icing on the cake!

    Take this from a newly wed who had several things go a bit awry. The stuff that did go wrong is funny to us now and none of our guests noticed. Everyone will be too focused on you and the good times to pay attention to every little detail.

  4. Colombian Coffee Says:

    I agree with Kirsten. No matter what goes wrong. As long as your groom and you show up and say I Do, that’s all that matters. Even if there are no decorations, guests, etc. The important part is the marriage.

  5. Genomebiy Says:

    The thing to keep in mind is the goal at the end of the day is to end up married.

    At our wedding, the place where we go married set up the room for the ceremony with too small an isle. Thus, my wife’s parents essentially knocked all those sitting on the isle in the head as they escorted her down to me. It was fairly comical.

    And, the sting quartet we hired was fabulously out of tune.

    But, we’ve been married 13 years, and still fondly look back at those things that make that day uniquely ours. Also, about a year after our wedding, good friends got married and their ceremony was remarkably similar to ours, so imitation was a nice form of flattery…

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